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Month: September 2009

You killed my sleep

My skin still retains the heat of your breath
As you recited Macbeth
Into my hair

It’s not fair
That all I am is the vibration of your words
Against my breast as you confessed
And now your sudden escape from our life is causing dischord

Your side of the bed still remembers your shape
And I can still hear your voice in my pillow
Its coming through the walls, billowing the curtains, relentlessly it calls

The willow in the back has been weeping leaves on the ground
Remembering the sound of you mumbling in your sleep
Or how you used to pray the lord your soul to keep

Nothing wants to grow
Not since you had to go
The change of the season
Is just not enough reason

To exist without your protection
The weathervane has lost direction
Its pointing up at heaven.
The sundial is stuck at a quarter to seven.

And your laughter resounds in the silences between my screams
The volume of you keeps adjusting itself in my dreams

I’ve seen a trace of your ghost on my face
Dulling my complexion
I’ve seen a reflection of you in my tea

The memory of your name hurts my lips
While my fingers struggle coming to grips
With grasping emptiness

You were my country, my planet, my undiscovered star
You were my pain before death, my colour of rain, my smoky midnight bar

You sold my ability to hold any other person close
You’ve put back the worry in my smile
And the wrinkles that were gone for a while
You’ve darkened my skies
Set free my butterflies
And I remain in a cage devoid of my senses
Cradling a souvenir of your lies and pretences

I was the shadow attached to your feet
And whether you’d walk, run or dance
I’d always keep your beat
Its dark in here
And hollow
It’s empty
With no one to follow

You plagiarised
The shape of my eyes
And you took away the taste of your love
From my lips
You even dissolved your fingerprints
From my hips

Can you stop
The never-ending cycle
Of my heart breaking?

Can you cease
This unrelenting chaos
Your absence has been creating?

Beginsels

Jy lat my dink an fynbos en heuning
Ek voel jou in my spiere se spanning.
In die spasies tussen my kinderdae
En die masker wat ek deesdae dra
Skenk jy vir my ‘n kussing

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Geen storie uit my hede
Sal so vassit in my verlede
Soos daai onverwagte toneel
Toe ek en jy laatoggend ‘n tafel deel
My woorde sit vas in my keel
Terwyl ons oë soos kinders hande vat
En met mekaar speel

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As ek my hande saamvou om te bid
Bly jou hitte tussen my palms vas sit
My naels stempel sekels in my kneukels
Soos ek die vlamme probeer dooddruk
En begin an my gebed verstik

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Droog en skaamteloos soos ‘n woestyn
Het ek geraamteloos verdwyn
Agter jou hunkerende oe
En voel teselletyd
Hoe die holte en die oorloop
Van ‘n leeftyd se hoop en verlang
Jou skielik vang
En ek raak verloore
Tussen die miriade woorde wat jy nie verby
Jou lippe kan kry

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Om na jou woorde te luister
Voel soos die sagte fluister
Van ‘n somerrok se satyn
Teen my verlangende vel

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‘n Eggo van jou naam
Vibreer in my geraamte
As ek my arms om my vou
Of an die binneste van my wang begin kou

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Jou glimlag sit nog vas an my mou
En jou woorde basyn soos ‘n luiende kerk klok deur my borskas
‘n Fragment van jou fluister sit nog vas tussen my tone

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Toe ek vir die eerste keer sien
Hoe die maanlig in jou oë skyn
Het die dogtertjie in my se vrese verdwyn

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Sal ek virewig ‘n bloeisel bly in jou geue
Tot jy die dag besluit om my gesig
Uit jou lewens gedig uit te vee?

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Jy vlek my in stemme van ‘n kinder koor
En verf my die kleur van ‘n engel se vlerk
Jy het jou merk in my murg gelos

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Hoe is ek ver onderstel om jou te vergeet?
Ek het per ongeluk ‘n paar van jou sinne geslik
En het klaar an meeste van jou woorde begin kou
En an jou leuns begin verstik

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Die swaartekrag in jou oë
Skep golwe in my trane
Die weer klink van jou woede word vasgevang
In die dimpel op my regter wang

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