Skip to content

Conscience Fiction Posts

Tired

I tried to recall the rhyme our bodies made
As we laid under the setting moon
And you hummed the tune
Of an old cartoon

Your whispers made me weak
Your words set me free
Under a star-filled canopy
Love appeared to me
In the shade of a tree

The poetry in our sighs
Could’ve won a Nobel prize
Your three fingers on my thigh
In the form a C chord –
A Grammy award

Our friction wrote a dictionary
You made me feel less ordinary
You were my best
And I still believe your chest
Was made to fit my cheek

But now we don’t even speak
You left before the week
Was over
The four-leafed clover
That I found in my hair
Never warned me it was to be a rebound affair

I was cheated out of luck
In the end it was just
To help you pretend
That the woman you went home to
Hadn’t forgotten how to love you

But in trying to erase
The pain you still had to face
You hurt me instead

Well, you’re still in my head
You’re on my lips, my tongue, my hips

I’ve washed, I’ve scrubbed, I’ve shaved
But I still crave your hands, your smile
You made my life worthwhile

The memory of your breath
Has made me blind
Now all I have is death on my mind

Unabridged
On a bridge
I stare at the cars below
I dare myself to swallow
My pointless expectation

I feel a sense of elation
As my feet leave the foundation
I lift my empty hands to the sky
I’m done asking why

I just wish I could’ve known
A little more about you
It might have helped me live
A life without you

I wanted to love you

I wanted to love you
But I didn’t know how
Or when or where
To start.

I couldn’t find a space
Between the abrasions on your heart
On which to lay my head.

I tread softly between
The tearing tissue
As you bled.

But I couldn’t find a place
To build my happiness
From your unhappiness.

I tried to find a lily pad
On the surface of that red river
On which to float.

I swam in vain
In search of a smile
On the bottom of that plasma pool.

So I honoured the voice inside my head
I let you go, kissed you and said,
“I wish I’d never met you.”

I caressed you one last time
To separate your pain from mine.

I don’t even think you noticed
Me skipping down the street
And how I left that heap of despair
On the floor
Between your feet.

Mengelmoes

My onderklere lê versprei
‘n Weerkaatsing van my

Twee g-strings in die cubby-hole
‘n Push-up in my handsak
Daars ‘n pantie oor die spiëlkas
En ‘n sykous opgevromel in my agterste broeksak

Waar is ek veronderstel om jou tussen in te vind?

As die lewe soms oorspoel

Jy laat my dink aan fynbos en heuning
Ek voel jou rustigheid in my spiere se spanning

In die spasies tussen my kinderdae
En die masker wat ek deesdae dra
Skenk jy vir my ‘n kussing

Daars ‘n sagte plek in die holte van jou nek
Waar my trane versamel en verdamp

Jou woorde weef self-vertroue deur my vlegsel
Terwyl jou oë my leegheid blou inkleur en met vere voltooi

Jy neem die haat wat aan my ligaam klou
Saggies tussen jou vingers
En laat dit vry

Jou asem, koel teen my klam vel, verlam my
My vuiste ontvou teen jou bors en ondek jou hart se ritme

Uitgeput teen jou skouer
En opgekrul soos ‘n baba
Draai jy my in drome toe

En in die holte van jou hand
Lê daar ‘n klip

Cullinary creation

I didn’t mean
To weep into your tea
I just wanted a piece of me
Inside you

I not quite sure why
I cried into your stir-fry
Maybe it was dry
And needed salt

It’s not my fault
I didn’t mean to wail
Into your ice-cream
And share my dreams
With a frozen milk dessert

But do you know
How much hurts
Everytime I think if Key Lime pie?
And how you said goodbye
Between bites

Its not right
But I can’t untie
Your noose from around my neck

And god knows I’ve tried
Not to think
About having anything to drink

I’ve tried to go off food
But it doesn’t do me any good

You made me feel less ordinary
Your caresses were legendary
You were the cherry
On top of my Sundae
But I guess I always knew
You’d leave someday

Its true – I always bite off
More than I can chew

I choose you
To be the casserole
Of my soul

I wanna take our lovin’
And stick it in the oven
And turn it up to 220 degrees
Cover it in cheese
And let it bake

I want it to get stuck between you teeth
Show up as a chocolate beneath
You pillow
And watch you grow
Kilo by kilo

Waarhede en naarhede

Die skok veroorsaak
Dat ek jou skielike skuld erkenning in asem
En agter my tande betrap
En tussen my wange vasvang

Ek het mos vroeg geleer
Om die tekens te ignoreer
En jou leuens te glo
Ek was vir te lank geneig
Om an jou valsheid soos ‘n stokkielekker te suig

Jou bloeiende, blootstellende geheim
Begin teen my tong en my tande vas te roes
So taai soos toffie, bitter soos moerkoffie
Bind dit my antwoord an my verhemelte vas

Die spoeg op my lippe
Is besmet met jou verraad
En jou patetiese verskonings
Van “so jammer” en “te min praat”

Terwyl jy ‘n tree terug trap
En voor jy my oë kan vergeet
Vat ek ‘n laaste hap
Ek sluk ons geskiedenis in

Met my kop tussen my knee
En die smaak van gal in my keel
Val die naarheid my oor

My braking onderbreek die stilte
En die teerpad word verkleur
Met ons verrotende liefde

You killed my sleep

My skin still retains the heat of your breath
As you recited Macbeth
Into my hair

It’s not fair
That all I am is the vibration of your words
Against my breast as you confessed
And now your sudden escape from our life is causing dischord

Your side of the bed still remembers your shape
And I can still hear your voice in my pillow
Its coming through the walls, billowing the curtains, relentlessly it calls

The willow in the back has been weeping leaves on the ground
Remembering the sound of you mumbling in your sleep
Or how you used to pray the lord your soul to keep

Nothing wants to grow
Not since you had to go
The change of the season
Is just not enough reason

To exist without your protection
The weathervane has lost direction
Its pointing up at heaven.
The sundial is stuck at a quarter to seven.

And your laughter resounds in the silences between my screams
The volume of you keeps adjusting itself in my dreams

I’ve seen a trace of your ghost on my face
Dulling my complexion
I’ve seen a reflection of you in my tea

The memory of your name hurts my lips
While my fingers struggle coming to grips
With grasping emptiness

You were my country, my planet, my undiscovered star
You were my pain before death, my colour of rain, my smoky midnight bar

You sold my ability to hold any other person close
You’ve put back the worry in my smile
And the wrinkles that were gone for a while
You’ve darkened my skies
Set free my butterflies
And I remain in a cage devoid of my senses
Cradling a souvenir of your lies and pretences

I was the shadow attached to your feet
And whether you’d walk, run or dance
I’d always keep your beat
Its dark in here
And hollow
It’s empty
With no one to follow

You plagiarised
The shape of my eyes
And you took away the taste of your love
From my lips
You even dissolved your fingerprints
From my hips

Can you stop
The never-ending cycle
Of my heart breaking?

Can you cease
This unrelenting chaos
Your absence has been creating?

Beginsels

Jy lat my dink an fynbos en heuning
Ek voel jou in my spiere se spanning.
In die spasies tussen my kinderdae
En die masker wat ek deesdae dra
Skenk jy vir my ‘n kussing

###

Geen storie uit my hede
Sal so vassit in my verlede
Soos daai onverwagte toneel
Toe ek en jy laatoggend ‘n tafel deel
My woorde sit vas in my keel
Terwyl ons oë soos kinders hande vat
En met mekaar speel

###

As ek my hande saamvou om te bid
Bly jou hitte tussen my palms vas sit
My naels stempel sekels in my kneukels
Soos ek die vlamme probeer dooddruk
En begin an my gebed verstik

###

Droog en skaamteloos soos ‘n woestyn
Het ek geraamteloos verdwyn
Agter jou hunkerende oe
En voel teselletyd
Hoe die holte en die oorloop
Van ‘n leeftyd se hoop en verlang
Jou skielik vang
En ek raak verloore
Tussen die miriade woorde wat jy nie verby
Jou lippe kan kry

###

Om na jou woorde te luister
Voel soos die sagte fluister
Van ‘n somerrok se satyn
Teen my verlangende vel

###

‘n Eggo van jou naam
Vibreer in my geraamte
As ek my arms om my vou
Of an die binneste van my wang begin kou

###

Jou glimlag sit nog vas an my mou
En jou woorde basyn soos ‘n luiende kerk klok deur my borskas
‘n Fragment van jou fluister sit nog vas tussen my tone

###

Toe ek vir die eerste keer sien
Hoe die maanlig in jou oë skyn
Het die dogtertjie in my se vrese verdwyn

###

Sal ek virewig ‘n bloeisel bly in jou geue
Tot jy die dag besluit om my gesig
Uit jou lewens gedig uit te vee?

###

Jy vlek my in stemme van ‘n kinder koor
En verf my die kleur van ‘n engel se vlerk
Jy het jou merk in my murg gelos

###

Hoe is ek ver onderstel om jou te vergeet?
Ek het per ongeluk ‘n paar van jou sinne geslik
En het klaar an meeste van jou woorde begin kou
En an jou leuns begin verstik

###

Die swaartekrag in jou oë
Skep golwe in my trane
Die weer klink van jou woede word vasgevang
In die dimpel op my regter wang

###

Stilte

Daar’s ‘n eindelose stilte
Wat tussen ons bestaan
Dis so droog soos ‘n woestyn
En so nat soos die oseaan

Dis so klein soos ons drome
En so groot soos die maan
‘n Ruimte sonder klank
Word tussen ons geraam

Ek sien dit in jou oë
Jy herken dit in my treë
Ek ruik dit aan jou asem
Jy proe dit in my tee

Ek wil jou nie bekommer
Jy wil my beskerm
Ons bly maar liewers stil
Dis beter as om te kerm

‘n Vergete fluister breek die stilte
Die leegheid verdwyn
Woorde word duidelik
Sagte sinne verskyn

Net soos die see in ‘n skulp klink
Of die wind ritsel deur blare
Besef ons waar die verlang lê
Na ‘n leeftyd se jare

Ons tonge en ons lippe
Vorm verhale van vroeë dae
Wat weerklink tussen ons lywe
En tot rus kom op ons glimlae

“Wat as ons die sprokies weer vergeet?” vra jy
En ons stemme gaan lê?
En wat as die stilte ons vreet?
As ons niks oor het om te sê?”

“Onthou dan hierdie oomblik,” sê ek
En hoe ons woorde ons omring
Die dag dat ons ophou praat
Is die dag dat ons begin sing”